I don't usually arrange sex via text message
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
