God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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