Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
