Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you win again, gameday.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
