I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
