sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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