I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
