Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize