you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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