check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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