1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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