so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
