there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
