You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize