I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
