Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
