The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
