i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
