What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
