Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize