It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize