I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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