I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
