I think im going to throw up on grandma
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
