he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
