Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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