please come you make the beer taste better
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize