I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
