just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
