His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
