Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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