Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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