He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the day after is always just damage control
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
