She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
