i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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