All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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