Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
