I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
