I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
