I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize