Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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