marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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