do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
