Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
