Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
