Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
