sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
