what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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