Don't you send me to vm
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
