dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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