I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
