You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
