He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
