New invention idea: vibrating tampons
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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