College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
