Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
