So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize