How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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