every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
