So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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