so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
