i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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